In my work as an Ambassador for Texas Right to Life serving Galveston County, I stumbled on a website “My Ashes to Beauty” developed by Toni Weisz. Toni’s story resonated with me. After reaching out to her right away, we talked on the phone for nearly an hour that Saturday morning, exchanging our stories. Toni invited me to participate in her Sunday afternoon conference call for Abortion Anonymous Recovery. For the past 7 years, Toni has facilitated the meeting like other anonymous recovery groups…12 Steps to Surrender, serenity prayer, rules of engagement, and prayer intentions. Women from across the country at various stages in abortion recovery are all welcome to dial in to listen and share testimony. On my first call, I picked up on similarities in my story with the other participants; stories of childhood pain that was not dealt with in a healthy way, pride and wearing “a mask” to uphold an image, dangerous habits in adolescence and early adulthood, and shameful responses to hide the ugly truth.
Growing up religious, I viewed God as a hard-to-please and heavy-on-the-rules kind of Father. The Bible is full of “don’ts”. But just like you expect from any good Father, the Creator of humanity is saying “Don’t hurt yourself”. The Bible teaches us that there is no greater sin than sin committed against one’s own body [1Corinthians 6:18]. Sexual immorality and abortion are among the worst of these grave sins. I can look back and clearly see how rebellious I was against God and His rules and my parents; not honoring them and certainly destroying the goodness in my life. Immediately after my abortion in 1997, Satan was quick to tell me how disgraceful I was. Importantly, I layered my defenses to not let anyone see that. I never planned to speak of my abortion again. Satan is a master at his agenda to steal, kill, and destroy. For Satan, getting us to the abortion clinic is not good enough. He wants to bury us in shame for the rest of our lives.
In 2010, a close friend urged me to confess my sin of abortion. I reluctantly did go to confession, and after I tearfully said the words describing my sin, the priest almost immediately said “You are forgiven!” He sent me on my way with good wishes and prayer intentions. I knew the Biblical truth that God forgives instantly like that, even before I asked, but something didn’t sink in. Would I ever forgive myself?
Another 6 years passed before God worked one of His “coincidences” that landed me in a church to hear a most powerful sermon. The preacher and his wife stood before a packed congregation to announce for the first time their most regrettable sin of abortion, and more important, their story of REDEMPTION! Satan’s reminder “you are a sinner” may be the only time he isn’t deceiving us. I’m not worthy….but Jesus says I am! The message hit me like a tidal wave and literally choked the sin right out of me. I was the one who put the nail in His hand, but He died for me anyway. THIS IS the meaning of Christianity, and my eyes fill with tearful joy every time I think about the meaning. My heart changed from that stoic church member to a joyful, hand raising worshiper of my Savior. I started my 6-week journey in Surrender the Secret at a local CareNet clinic shortly thereafter.
Fast forward 5 more years, and God is showing me more work is to be done. Those harmful defense-mechanisms are deep seeded with me. Toni’s courageous leadership guides me and others like me in her God-filled and life-loving ministry and walk with our God. There is no more powerful army than a group of Jesus-loving women who won’t let Satan silence them. We defeat Satan and his evil works by Christ’s blood and the word of our testimony [Revelation 12:11]. I encourage anyone…women and men, struggling with abortion, please reach out to me, Toni, or your local pregnancy center that provides post-abortion healing. We will get you connected and welcome you with open arms.
Texas Right to Life Ambassador
Contact information for Toni Weisz:
Women’s Sunday 3:15 pm CST Conference Call: 425 436-6260, PIN 4746600#