20 things that haunt post-abortive women


Last month, the website Paper Darts featured a contribution by a woman named Madeleine Rose, a waitress in Minneapolis.  Madeleine entitled the piece, 20 Tips for Your First Abortion, but the somber story reads more like a list of memories that haunt her. 

Madeleine’s post, which can be found here, does little to convince anyone that abortion is an easy choice and instead demonstrates the serious mental, physical, and emotional trauma of abortion.  Her 20 “tips” actually reveal:   

1.      Unplanned pregnancy causes distress…

2.      …and a sense of aloneness.

3.      The less a woman knows about her baby or abortion, the less emotional trauma she’ll experience.

4.      People who work in the abortion industry may not care what you’re going through.

5.      Drinking may numb the pain and anxiety about the pregnancy and impending abortion.

6.      The waiting room is nerve-wracking.

7.      The cost of an abortion can be staggering.

8.      The nurses may seem cold.

9.      Finding out exactly how old one’s baby is exacerbates the pain of a decision to end his or her life.

10.  Looking at the clearly identifiable life on the ultrasound will also exacerbate the pain.

11.  Trying to make sense of the abortion mill experience will not lead to rational answers.

12.  They will put your baby’s dismembered body in a metal bowl after the abortion.

13.  The abortion will really hurt…

14.  …really, the abortion will be excruciating.

15.  You won’t be able to forget the sound of the vacuum powering the abortion suction machine.

16.  That people can make small talk during an abortion is unbelievable.

17.  Your body will weep for the child that you lost…

18.  …even if you try to rationalize the tears as byproducts of something else.

19.  You will bleed a lot, like a woman who just miscarried or gave birth to a child—except that’s not what happened to your baby.

20.  You will try to return to life as usual.  But will life ever be the same again?

Many points on Madeleine’s list are heart-wrenching.  Her desire to be uninformed; her attempt to make sense out of inexplicable evil; the fact that she mentions no one in her life who offered to stand by her side through parenting or adoption; her resignation to the physical and emotional pain.  Where was the child’s father?  Where were Madeleine’s family and closest friends?  She futilely sought empathy from the abortion staff, who were more concerned about where they would buy lunch than about Madeleine’s well-being.  Their nonchalance belittled Madeleine’s instinct that something much more significant was taking place. 

If you or someone you love is experiencing the pain of a past abortion, there are many opportunities available for help and healing.  Contact Rachel’s Vineyard (866-482-LIFE) for more.


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