|
|
Pro-Life Works: Men Hurt Too April 19, 2010 Men Hurt Too Melissa Pici Chapter Development Director
Men have no rights when it comes to protecting their unborn child in danger of being aborted. In spite of the fact that a man is forced to pay child support (rightfully so) should the mother of his child choose to bring the child into the world, his hands are tied if he wants his child to live while the mother does not. Sarah Weddington, the lawyer who fought to legalize abortion in the landmark Roe vs. Wade case, briefly shared her comments on the issue during a presentation given at Rice University in 2007. In cases when parents disagree over an abortion, Ms. Weddington does not believe a father’s wishes for his child to live should be honored. Weddington emphasizes that it is the mother who has to be pregnant for nine months. It is sad and frightening that Ms. Weddington believes any discomfort during nine months of pregnancy supersedes a lifetime of psychological and emotional pain caused by the loss of a child.
Every child is as much the offspring of his father as of his mother. In spite of denying men the natural right to defend their unborn child, the injustice continues to haunt millions of men who have felt helpless when trying to save the life of their child. It is a man’s natural instinct to protect his family. When unable to do this, men may experience depression, guilt, aggression, abuse of drugs/alcohol, a lack of trust, fear of failure, anxiety, lack of intimacy, inability bond with children and no self-esteem. A leading researcher on the impact of abortion on men, Vincent Rue, Ph.D., explained the male grieving process in an article, The Effects of Abortion on Men: “Men do grieve following abortion, but they are more likely to deny their grief or internalize their feelings of loss rather than openly express them . . . When men do express their grief, they try to do so in culturally prescribed ‘masculine’ ways, i.e. anger, aggressiveness, control. Men typically grieve in a private way following an abortion. Because of this, men's requests for help may often go unrecognized and unheeded by those around them.” It is just as normal and common for men who support or pressure a woman to abort to experience regret and pain after the abortion. We simply cannot ignore men when considering the impact of abortion. So what can we as Pro-Lifers do to fight this injustice and to acknowledge the very real pain men undergo? Most importantly, we must speak up, validate men’s feelings, and encourage post-abortive men to seek healing so that they can help protect other men, women, and babies. Men can help turn the tide by filling out a declaration that will be used in future legislative efforts to end abortion: http://www.operationoutcry.org. Silent No More, an organization well-known for breaking the silence of women who regret their abortion now encourages men to share their experiences. Additionally, they offer men the opportunity to stand peacefully together at public gatherings to let others know that they regret “lost fatherhood:” http://www.silentnomoreawareness.org. Together, one healed heart at a time, we can restore the natural order of a mother and a father to protect their children from the moment of conception. Let us offer hope to those in unplanned pregnancies by offering real options and assistance; and let us offer healing to those who have been persuaded that the “choice” to end a life can be a good and freeing decision. Listed below are websites with additional resources for men seeking healing. www.MenAndAbortion.Info/l1-resource1.html Visit www.UnbornMemorials.com to remember a lost child. |
