Pro-Life Works: Defense of the Duggars and Life

April 20, 1020

In Defense of the Duggars and Life

Christopher Donatto

Senior Intern

I am responding to an article on TV.MSN.com’s page Mom & Pop Culture titled “What the Duggars Are Doing Wrong: How reality TV is hurting the famous large family.”  Allison McDowell Enstrom, a journalist who has some problems with the Duggars choosing to televise their large family, wrote it.

“I’m not sure that being offended by their lifestyle choice is totally reasonable, but it’s definitely what I feel,” Ms. Enstrom.

The Duggars got their TV start on Discovery Health Channel in 2004 when they were a family of 14.  The Learning Channel came along and picked them up for the show “19 Kids and Counting” which was previously “17” and then “18”.  Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar began their marriage using the birth control pill.  When they decided to have a child, she got off the pill and they had their first son, Josh.  Michelle then went back on the pill.  Soon afterwards, she got pregnant while on the pill, which they thought was impossible.  She eventually had a miscarriage that the doctor told them was probably due to the birth control.  They realized that a choice they made led to the death of their unborn child.  They then decided to stay off of any kind of contraception and allow God to choose the number of children they would have.

I understand that having your family on a reality TV show is not a simple task.  You go from having family time to having a camera crew in your house following your every move four days a week.  Mrs. Enstrom does not find the Duggars’s reasons for choosing reality TV acceptable.

“That might be satisfactory enough if it was a more private affair, one not broadcast on national television,” Ms. Enstrom said.  “It's one thing to have an unusually large family.  It's another to put that family and all its trappings into a fishbowl and then invite millions of viewers to gawk and critique and criticize.”

When the Duggars were asked why they got involved in television they replied, “…we received a phone call from Bill Hayes with Figure 8 Films who said someone at Discovery Health Channel had seen the Parents Magazine (referring to an article about their family) and was asking if they could do a documentary about our family.  We prayed about it and felt this would be an opportunity to share with the world that children are a blessing from God.  We said the only way we would do it is if they did not edit out our faith, because that is the core of our lives.  They agreed and our first show was called “14 Children and Pregnant Again!”.” 

Obviously, the income from a reality show would be a big help to support a large family.  That is true for the Duggars, who own a small business, and other popular reality show families such as the Gosselins with “Jon and Kate Plus 8” and Nadya Suleman, the infamous “Octomom.”  Jon and Kate Gosselin, who conceived twins and later octuplets through intrauterine insemination, had both lost their jobs when their show began.  Nadya Suleman had her first six children, and then octuplets, using in vitro fertilization.  She was an unemployed student when she made the deal for her show.

Ms. Enstrom also commented about the perceived lack of individual attention for children in such a large family.

“The reality of having so many kids, though, is that one mom and dad just couldn't possibly do it all.  At some point, the older kids have to be stand-in or part-time parents to the younger ones.”

I do not think anyone would disagree with that, but the Duggars seem to live lives of intention.  Jim Bob and Michelle make it a priority to spend time alone to keep themselves strong, they make sure to spend time with each of their children, and they have expectations of their children on a spiritual level as well as for their character.  Ms. Enstrom also has a problem with how the older children have to pitch in and help with the younger ones.  Isn’t this what a family is?  Isn't everyone supposed to pitch in for the good of the family?  Where else can you find such an example of family and values on TV?  When so many television shows are filled with episodes of gratuitous sex and violence, the Duggars are a light in the darkness.

I do not believe a family of 19 kids is for everyone.  Nor do I believe all parents are perfect and all their children are equally successful in life.  Life is full of hardships and suffering, but it is also filled with hope and happiness.  I think the Duggars show us what living a life of love, hope, and intention can produce.  In our society, which says if it feels good do it, where people are choosing not to have kids to selfishly fulfill their lives in other ways, where people compare and talk about their dogs instead of children, where towns in industrialized nations are becoming ghost towns due to lack of replacement rate births, and where this generation is being taught that they do not have to face up to their responsibilities and that abortion is the answer, the Duggars can be an example of the Pro-Life Counterculture.